An essential prerequisite for closeness and intimacy is:
We have to be close to ourselves.
As long as we expect closeness from the outside, we will never experience it properly and also be able to share it with others.
If we want to be close to another person, we first have to know who we are, what we feel, what we think, where our strengths lie, what is important to us and what we want.
If we don’t know all this for ourselves, how are we supposed to let another person share it?
Source: Anne Wilson Schaef, Escape From Intimacy, 1989